Struggling recovering addict tendency to blame and sabotage-

I just thought I'd post what I posted in another thread. I thought it might be interesting to discuss how recovering from an addiction is difficult not only from a mental and physiological perspective of withdrawals but also from the perspective that personal unresolved issues are bound to emerge since there is nowhere to run anymore without the addiction. Not only have my nerves been jaded as my body is performing huge adjustments but also I am becoming aware of things that smoking allowed me to avoid looking at in the past. This is heavy duty stuff to deal with and it would be easy to fall into another pattern of avoiding and start blaming others unconsciously when I am feeling bad.I don't like it that people get upset and leave,quit smoking now,even if I didn't like them I still wanted them to stay. But I could never stay quit without dealing with issues I have been able to avoid by smoking. Since I was a young little thing I always ran away from the sort of conflict that is inevitable in any form of interaction, particularly conflict from intimate relationships. Where did I run to? I often ran into the ready comfort of addictions embrace. Although it strangled and suffocated me it was a pattern that held me in a suspended state where I didn't grow from the lessons in life that I avoided. I have nowhere to run to now but I must face the things about me now that I have nowhere to hide. Getting angry and blaming are just other ways of avoiding. If I keep doing this and don't grow up in these regards it's possible I will smoke again. So if I get angry at the board because someone was "mean", I can then run away and not face my issues at that particular time but I am setting myself up to possibly pick up the addiction again. Firstly I have just dumped my support and secondly I have yet again missed out on an opportunity to grow.I don't think it's fair to put guilt on some members for others who have left. Ultimately it is their choice and no-one seems to be talking about what may be going on in their psyche,quit smoking, which I think is more relevant to giving up an addiction. It has at least been relevant in mine.I am interested in what others think and whether they experienced some similar realisations.