3 months for ME!!! -hot-diggity-dog-

Gee - where to start?!?! When I started this journey, 3 months ago, the thought of going 3 hours without a cigarette was an impossible feat. But,smoking cessation, I wanted it badly & oddly enough it's STUCK! *yay* Part of me wants to say it's been sooooo easy. But the part of me that hits an occassionally strong craving wants to say "not so much". I guess in reality quitting is EASY!!! Staying quit takes some effort. Sometimes that effort is a simple "eh, stupid crave" and other times it's a full blown "how I am I gonna get through this", gotta "fight to hang on to this quit". But then again, once the craving is past - it becomes "easy" again. Hmmmm.......so I guess it's safe to say it makes me wishy-washy. *teehee*Along the way - I've managed to be tested and come out victorious! I've gotten through some really strong triggers. Fights with hubby! Remodeling our kitchen an putting down 240 square feet of ceramic tile, only to have them start to pop a week later. Meaning they all had to come up! AND all the mortar used to lay them had to be scraped and then START OVER!!! OH boy was that a classic trigger moment! *lol* I've had some pretty ugly and hurtful run-ins with family members. My best friend (of 43 years) was diagnosed with breast cancer. Was I tempted to smoke? NEVER! Did the thought cross my mind? OH YEAH!I've had stressful moments that said smoking was the ONLY solution, thrilling moments that remembered celebrating by smoking and exhausted times that wanted to curl up and relax with a smoke. I didn't do any of that! Instead I spent those moments enjoying the fact that I am no longer TIED to that hideous addiction. I am free! And the price of freedom is a continuous effort to stay that way! Not a constant struggle but more so just a reminder that we can't ever walk the road of "just one",quit smoking now, ever again! "Just one" is a fantasy! There is no such thing as "just one"! It WILL always equal a pack, which eventually equals a carton, which equals another failed quit - due to "just one". Even the worst triggers - nice weather and stress are getting to be a piece of cake to get through! The first few times outside, in the sun, on a beautiful day just didn't seem "right" without smoking. Well, I just realized about a week ago that I've been playing baseball with my grandson and going swimming and not once thought of smoking! *wow* The association times are finally becoming less and less! I have to say that my real reason for quitting was "FEAR"! I was terrified of what I was doing to my body. I'd hoped quitting would help with my anxiety disorder, migraines, menopause, so on...............................When I quit, I was having no issues from smoking (after doing so for 30+ YEARS) that I know of. But I figured/hoped that once I removed all the poison - it would HAVE to relieve some of these other issues, at least a little. Well, I've had 2 HORRENDOUS migraines (I usually only get about 4 a year), had 1 panic attack (haven't had one in about 4 years) and the menopause is sorta stable. The reason I chose to share this is because when these things happened - the junkie thinking said "gee, you weren't having any problems and quitting didn't solve any problem like you'd hoped, might as well start again". Funny how that junkie thinking is so easily convincing but the common sense thinking takes more effort! But common sense thinking is exactly what I'm banking on. It makes no logical sense whatsoever to smoke ever again!! It especially made no sense to ever start. I'd like to know what moron decided it was a good idea to take dried leaves, roll them in paper, light it and stick it in your MOUTH and inhale? *duh* I guess I've rambled long enough! I can only hope my quitting experiences may help another in some way. My DH, DD & SIL are all still quit too! *woohoo* Just blows my mind that they've all held tough too. I'm so thankful! Plus it really helps me keep my quit - because I think it'd be a safe bet that if I were to ever relapse, there would be a couple to follow me! Welp, ain't happenin' because of ME! No way! No how! NOPE!!!!Thanks to everyone here for always listening, always being supportive and most of all - UNDERSTANDING the craziness of this addiction! KTQ!Terri