I had my first intense crave last night. . .

Fridays are the HARDEST!! After a full stress filled work week I used to love that feeling of getting in the car to go home for the weekend. A beautiful sunny day,quit smoking now, got out early for Memorial Day Weekend, popped my nicorette gum and I was fine. Fridays in my house is date night. Hubby and me sit together and have a few beers, recap our whole week (since we run in different directions all week long), cook a nice dinner and relax. So, while I survived the first two smokeless weekends,stop smoking now, last night, all of a sudden I learned what a true crave was! I suddenly didn't like the taste of my beer without it being accompanied by a cigarette, I welled up with tears, and I had such an sudden intense feeling of sadness and depression. I knew I wasn't going to cave, knew I wasn't going to smoke, but I was damn mad that I couldn't! I think the thing that's bothering me is when you diet and look at a potato chip and know you can't have it, you know that someday when you loose the weight, that you can then enjoy those chips again in moderation. All I keep saying in my head now is that this is a forever thing. That for the rest of my LIFE I can't have another cigarette. There's no cheating at this "diet", there's no room for slipups, its a forever and ever thing and I can never have another one, not ever! I just can't seem to get past that yet. I know I will, I know that it will get easier and I know that in time I won't think of it that way, but here in these beginning days that thought is planted in my head - no more, not ever. And then I remembered what I read here daily. . . in about 3 minutes that intense feeling subsided, the tears weren't trying to burst through my eyes anymore, I took another sip of beer which was now more pleasurable, held tight to my straw, and I was once again fine. Really threw me for a loop though since it was the first really strong craving I've had that really threatened all the work I've done. So I guess the moral of this story - while it was really hard for that moment, hang tight and work through it, it does pass and if you stay strong you'll have no regrets or guilt that you messed up. As a matter of fact you'll find some relief in it afterwards knowing that you didn't cave!