Looney

TODAY...WAS...AWFUL. I was messing up at work because I couldn't concentrate. And I was eating...and eating...and eating. Grrr... I'm frustrated because its been easier the last few days. I guess I got tricked! It's amazing that you can feel like you're kickin serious booty one day and the next it feels like the first day all over again! I posted yesterday about some of my frustrations about quitting, but I have not had a crave like this since day 1. I wanted to rip my friggin hair out,smoking cessation, and my boss (who smokes,quit smoking, and knows I have quit) keeps asking me whats wrong. HELLO??? IM ANGRY! lol! Meanwhile, someone who has never smoked and thinks nicotine has no effect on your brain keeps asking what my problem is. All I wanted to say at that point was, "Other than you?" !!!!! I'm chewing on my gum and I want one SO BAD, but I won't. That's why this isn't an SOS I refuse to give in. The cravings just make me angrier at the drug. I can't believe this pull over me. Its amazing how the mind works. You can want something and NOT want something at the same time. That's lunacy! Its so asinine that it's ass-a-ten! I wish I could take out the part of my brain that still wants to smoke and just set it on the counter until I feel prepared for it to come back. Ahh, I need that. Thanks for letting me rant!